As I have mentioned before here I am putting together a series of posts about dealing with the fear of giving birth. This is the first part of my 6 part series.
Dealing with others
It doest matter if its your mum, your aunty, your cousin or someone you met on the street, as soon as they know you are pregnant, the pain stories begin.
"oh the pain, you don't even know the pain"
"its like pooping a watermelon"
"your lady bits will never be the same again"
Of course then they give you the labour stories too
"I was in labour for 5 days"
"Your mother was in labour for 3 weeks and she ended up with a Caesarean"
'Your cousin had her first on the motor way"
Just because people in your family, or in your street have horror birth stories, does not mean that your birth will go the same way. Even if you personally have had a bad birthing experience in the past, it doesn't mean that your next birth will be the same.
If you have people "educating" you on the trials and tribulations of childbirth, there is only one thing you need to say to them. First you let them talk, try to focus on something else, do they have something in their teeth? Is their someone riding a unicycle behind them? Just smile and nod occasionally, maybe through in an "ooo" or an "ahh" to keep things interesting. Then finally, when they stop talking, look them in the eye and ask one simple question.
"was it worth it?"
And you know what they will say? They will say yes!
Because it is, its worth it. You forget the pain, the hours, the sickness, the everything. All the matters is holding that little person in your arms.
Birth is not something to fear, its something to look forward to. The memories of how your little person got here, are something to cherish not something to mourn. These moments make you a stronger person, it doesn't matter if the birth was natural, with an epidural, in the water or the car or via caesarean, all that matters is that you did it and its something to be proud of.
The moral of this story is to ignore the stories of fear that you will be bombarded with, find your inner peace and respect for your body that in the end your baby will be here and thats all that matters. Educate yourself on the realities of childbirth but in the end, every single birth is different and every experience is different.
Enjoy your pregnancy and have faith that your body will do exactly what its meant to do!
The second part of this series will be on the pain of childbirth. I'll post it next week.
In the mean time, do you have any methods for dealing with people and their stories and advice?